COUPLE COUNSELLING

In today’s changing times many people experience tensions, conflicts and difficulties in the central relationships to their lives. Do you have a vision of sharing a more intimate and more loving relationship with your partner? Do you know what you need to do to make that vision a reality?

And more than that — you will begin to know a deeper kind of intimacy than you have ever known before.

What areas do we most commonly address?

  • the feeling of drifting apart or being disconnected
  • the desire for more meaningful communication
  • a lack of passion and sexual intimacy
  • issues of trust (e.g. extramarital affairs)
  • persistent arguments and power struggles

Here’s what couples counselling with ‘Forest’. can do for you:

  • You will learn to speak openly and honestly
  • You’ll feel strong in standing for what you believe
  • You will begin to express yourself clearly and confidently
  • You will be able to tolerate your own anxieties in the face of your partner’s reactions.

The initial couples consultation will give each of you a place to speak freely and be heard — by one another as well as by us. Couples leave the session feeling more hopeful and capable of change.

In couple counselling sessions, you will have an opportunity to bring your issues to the table in an atmosphere of openness and non-judgementalism.

Our focus is on each of you as individuals. We help you learn to relate from the best of you, so that you can love each each other deeply as two strong and independent individuals. We will show you how you can change the dynamics of your relationship from one of reacting, to one in which you can respond by holding on to your self.

When’s the right time?

One thing’s for sure: counsellors rarely hear the compliant “It’s too early for our relationship!” More often, what they hear is: “We’ve tried everything – counselling is our last resort.”

Far too many couples leave counselling until it’s too late. By the time of their first appointment, years of bitterness and resentment have built up and the fear of being hurt blocks out any chance of change.

If you’re experiencing any of the following, now is the time to consider counselling:

  • When you talk to your partner, it feels as though you’re hitting a brick wall.
  • Your conversations just go round and round in never-ending circles.
  • After you’ve talked, you feel frustrated and confused.
  • You can’t talk for more than a few minutes without it turning into a shouting match.
  • You’re afraid that if you bring up a certain subject, things will get even worse.
  • There’s nothing left to say.

Ideally, you should go to counselling together: it’s hard to build a team if only half the players are there. Usually if one makes the decision to give counselling a try, the partner will decide to go as well. We may want to improve our relationships, to rekindle the spark that brought us together or be struggling to understand changes in our partners or our own feelings and thoughts.

Our counsellors are trained to listen without judgment, to help you to make sense of things without taking over. Using conflict resolution techniques, working on issues of sensuality and sexuality, gender, parenting and work roles to develop or recover healthy relationships.

If your partner flatly refuses to join you, there are lots of things counselling can help you sort out on your own. There may be changes you can make alone that will have a positive impact on your relationship. Some people also prefer to have counselling on their own at first to work out their feelings before seeing another counsellor as a couple.

All counsellors have their own styles and ways of working. You can choose to see a counsellor face-to-face or speak via telephone or email.

Whichever approach you choose, broadly speaking all counsellors will help you to work through the following three steps:

  • The nature of the problems and what impact they’re having on you and your relationship. The history of how the problems arose and what changes you’d like to see.
  • Why you’re struggling with these problems and the things that may be preventing you from overcoming them.
  • Finding the strengths and resources to resolve your difficulties, or at least make them more bearable.

How does counselling work?

First and foremost, counselling works by giving you the chance to be heard. Your counsellor will give you all the time you need to talk, sob, shout or just think. It’s an opportunity to look at the problem in a different way with someone who’ll respect and encourage your opinions and your decisions.samaritan-couples-counseling-300x199[1]

For many couples, the solution is right under their noses – it just takes someone objective to see what it is.

It’s hard to measure if counselling is effective, but it’s an industry that’s rapidly growing as more and more people discover the benefits for themselves. If you haven’t considered relationship counselling before, please don’t leave it until it’s too late.

There are three possible outcomes with couple counselling.

  • Some find that changes cannot be made but there is still sufficient positive reasons to stay together.
  • One or other party refuses to change and the only answer is separation.
  • Finally, the couple decide to work together to iron out their differences. This is anticipated for the majority of our couples.

Finding a counsellor

There are a number of places you can go for couples’ counselling; which one you choose may depend on how much you can afford. Always make sure your counsellor is fully qualified.

 

‘Forest’ provides a counsellor or therapist for those wishing to improve their relationship and for those with marital problems. These include conflicts of opinion, abuse and violence, reduced frequency of intercourse, emotional stress and looming separation.

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